Elves can be devilish
Elves are mystical, diminutive humanlike creatures, who oftentimes have mystical powers.
Elves have a prominent, mythical place in Scandinavian cultures, known for their impish, malicious, and playfully naughty activities.
Of course, most folks associate elves as the hard-working, happy-go-lucky denizens of Santa Claus无毛视频� work shop in the North Pole.
(Which, by the way, is smack dab in the middle of Scandinavia.)
Every so often, without Santa or the Mrs. aware, the devilish side of elves gushes forth and mayhem, not publicized of course, ensues.
With that picture in mind, let yourself be transported to the mansion amidst the frozen environs of the north (at least for the moment, given the global warming situation and all).
Santa and the wife are taking a long winter无毛视频檚 nap in preparation for the big day, so the elves came out to play.
Santa无毛视频檚 house in the North Pole is 无毛视频渨ired,无毛视频� so he无毛视频檚 updated the whole letters to Santa electronically. Now, if you have a home computer, you are painfully aware that the threat of viruses or hackers is always there.
Little does Santa know the threat is 无毛视频渉omegrown.无毛视频� Elves will be elves and letters to Santa will be altered.
Shifty takes the lead, of course. (Poor fella. His parents set his future in place with a name like that.)
Shifty gathers the elves on a rare break in toy making. Some to stand guard in the office, others to keep an eye out that Santa无毛视频檚 sleep is deep.
Shifty piles several pillows on Santa无毛视频檚 desk chair and climbs into position, turning on the computer. The sign-in screen pops up and Shifty 无毛视频渢he hacker无毛视频� goes to work.
无毛视频淗mm, what would old fatso use as his user name and password?无毛视频� he asks himself.
His tiny fingers punch in characters and he无毛视频檚 in on the first attempt.
无毛视频淩udolph 无毛视频� red nose 无毛视频� crafty, Santa, crafty,无毛视频� Shifty says aloud.聽
无毛视频淗uh?无毛视频� a nearby voice blurts out.
无毛视频淣o, not you Crafty. I was just saying 无毛视频� oh, never mind, go back to making your paper snowflakes and reindeer,无毛视频� responded Shifty.
Shifty turns his attention back to the computer screen.聽
无毛视频淯mm, where is the folder? Oh, there it is,无毛视频� Shifty says to himself proudly. 无毛视频淟etters to Santa.无毛视频�
Just then the uneasy silence was broken with a crash. 无毛视频淲hat the 无毛视频�,无毛视频� Shifty trailed off.
He turned around to see what caused the calamity.
无毛视频淔igures,无毛视频� mutters Shifty. 无毛视频淗ermey! Tipsy!无毛视频�
(Seems Hermey无毛视频檚 mission to become a dentist was not received well, so he turned to the bottle to kill the pain of failure. He found a companion in misery in Tipsy, who knew where Santa kept the peppermint schnapps.)
无毛视频淗ey, Squinty, he still asleep?无毛视频� asked Shifty. 无毛视频淵ep,无毛视频� Squinty said between blinks.
无毛视频淥kay, let无毛视频檚 see. Who无毛视频檚 first?无毛视频� Shifty asked himself.
Eldrick Woods 无毛视频� 无毛视频淲ho无毛视频檚 he kiddin无毛视频�? So, what does Tiger want?无毛视频� 无毛视频� 无毛视频淒ear Santa, Guess you know I无毛视频檝e had a tough stretch. I无毛视频檇 like a new set of clubs that hit the perfect shot every time and a knee brace that doesn无毛视频檛 show through my body-hugging slacks. Thanks. Merry Christmas.无毛视频� 无毛视频� 无毛视频淣o, that无毛视频檚 not what you want for Christmas,无毛视频� whispered Shifty. 无毛视频淗ow about, (highlight, replace) I无毛视频檇 like for Jordan Spieth to grab all the headlines and have all the swing coaches I无毛视频檝e fired come to a party to remind me where I messed up.无毛视频�
Shifty smiled smugly and then looked to the next letter.
Peyton Manning 无毛视频� 无毛视频淭his should be fun,无毛视频� said Shifty. 无毛视频� Dear SC, Peyton here. I would like a new pair of shoes to protect my aging feet and a gift certificate to a massage parlor for my shoulder and arm. 无毛视频� 无毛视频淣ah, you don无毛视频檛 want that. Let无毛视频檚 try 无毛视频� I would like a fancy press conference to announce my retirement and a wool cap to keep my head warm during Denver winters.无毛视频�
无毛视频淗ey, this is fun!无毛视频� exclaimed Shifty. 无毛视频淲hy haven无毛视频檛 I thought of this before?无毛视频�
Pittsburgh Penguins 无毛视频ξ廾悠禎This should be interesting.无毛视频� 无毛视频� Dear Santa, We want another Stanley Cup. Thanks, the Boys of Winter. 无毛视频� 无毛视频淩i-i-i-ight.无毛视频� 无毛视频� How about 无毛视频� Dear Santa, Please wrap up a coach that will give us a quick kick in the rear and rumors we无毛视频檒l all be moved to other teams if we don无毛视频檛 shape up. The fans have spoken.无毛视频�
Tom Brady 无毛视频� 无毛视频淥h, dear lord. What else could he want?无毛视频� 无毛视频� Hey buddy, loved the last party! Tell the Mrs. the food was great! Guess you read all about that problem I had earlier in the year, so how about a pump and a pressure gauge, and a new cellphone. I keep busting mine, somehow. A healthy running back and wide receiver would be appreciated, too!无毛视频� 无毛视频� 无毛视频淢an, I无毛视频檓 going to enjoy this!无毛视频� 无毛视频� Hey Fatty, I attached a cook book for your wife. Assuming she can read, suggest she give it a try. I无毛视频檓 still burping up those walrus fritters! Other than that, what else could I want?无毛视频�
无毛视频淗ey, he无毛视频檚 stirring!无毛视频� alerted Squinty.
无毛视频淥kay, one more,无毛视频� said Shifty. 无毛视频淗mmm, who will it be? Wait, I don无毛视频檛 see his name. Maybe I should write a letter for him.无毛视频�
无毛视频淵es, I will do that,无毛视频� a proud Shifty said. 无毛视频淒ear Santa, I无毛视频檝e seen the commercials and understand you无毛视频檙e a big NBA fan. Time and years have taken their toll on me. I know I haven无毛视频檛 been the nicest guy, but anyway can you see to it that I end things on a positive, fun note? Thanks, Kobe Bryant.无毛视频澛�
无毛视频淨uick, one more.无毛视频� 无毛视频� Dear Santa, Would you please remind all the folks to remember those who need someone, or those who are far away from home in service to America? A kind thought or a short note (and probably something sweet) would surely be appreciated. I无毛视频檓 sure everyone knows somebody. A simple smile could do wonders. Thanks.无毛视频�
Shifty smugly smiled to himself as he shut down the computer and gathered up his accomplices, including the intoxicated pair of Tipsy and Hermey, to return to their toy-making responsibilities.
On behalf of the 无毛视频-Standard sports department, hopes for a wonderful Christmas, free of computer-hacking elves. MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Jim Downey can be reached at jdowney@heraldstandard.com