Our colorful language again!
I无毛视频檓 beside myself with 无毛视频� Hey, wait!
I can无毛视频檛 possibly be beside myself.
That无毛视频檚 physiologically impossible.
So is when you tell somebody to, 无毛视频渨atch your mouth.无毛视频�
They无毛视频檙e a couple of terms Americans use in our thriving arsenal of idioms.
Stuff that can无毛视频檛 be taken literally.
Back in June, I wrote a column about how our daily language would be difficult for foreigners or Martians to understand.
This is the sequel.
Here goes.
When somebody says they are 无毛视频渕aking their bed,无毛视频� they aren无毛视频檛 constructing a bed. They无毛视频檙e putting their bed in order. Nobody ever says, 无毛视频淚无毛视频檓 going to go put my bed in order.无毛视频�
And when somebody claims the person to whom they无毛视频檙e speaking has, 无毛视频渕ade their bed无毛视频� 无毛视频� that they must now 无毛视频渟leep in it无毛视频� 无毛视频� there无毛视频檚 usually no bed in sight.
I无毛视频檝e always wondered why it无毛视频檚 appropriate to say somebody is 无毛视频済etting into bed,无毛视频� when all they无毛视频檙e doing is getting ON it.
I无毛视频檓 not a 无毛视频渟tickler无毛视频� for proper language. I don无毛视频檛 even know what a 无毛视频渟tickler无毛视频� is. If you happen to find a 无毛视频渟tickler,无毛视频� please send me one.
I don无毛视频檛 know who those people are, who stand in frying pans. I do know they无毛视频檝e been warned not to 无毛视频渏ump from the frying pan into the fire.无毛视频�
A terrifying and painful waste of time if you ask me.
NOTE: Nobody has ever asked me.
My teeth are without skin.
They无毛视频檙e skinless.
So, please don无毛视频檛 tell me you think I got by on 无毛视频渢he skin of my teeth.无毛视频�
I know that from time to time, I put 无毛视频渕y best foot forward.无毛视频� Alternatively, I 无毛视频減ut one foot in front of the other,无毛视频� because, I suppose, there无毛视频檚 no other way to walk.
American English is full of terms that don无毛视频檛 mean what they sound like.
We don无毛视频檛 walk 无毛视频渄own无毛视频� the street if the pavement is flat, do we?
People still have no compunctions about adjusting the directions of things. When down can mean 无毛视频渦p无毛视频� 无毛视频� and up can sometimes mean 无毛视频渄own.无毛视频�
Don无毛视频檛 believe me?
If you live in Uniontown, you may have heard people say they无毛视频檙e going 无毛视频渄own无毛视频� to Pittsburgh 无毛视频� even though it无毛视频檚 north of Uniontown.
Or, you may hear people say they无毛视频檙e going 无毛视频渦p无毛视频� to Morgantown 无毛视频� which is south.
Language is fun. I try to use it all of the time.
But I无毛视频檓 sometimes confounded by its less than direct representations of some things.
Have you ever truly been 无毛视频渁t the end of your rope?无毛视频�
What did that feel like?
Do you suppose anybody has ever suffered from an occasion when a 无毛视频渃at got their tongue?无毛视频�
The only way that could happen is if somebody 无毛视频渓et the cat out of the bag.无毛视频�
But why was the cat in that darned bag to begin with?
Were you playing 无毛视频渃at and mouse无毛视频� with it?
Do you (or anybody) live in a 无毛视频渄og eat dog无毛视频� world, where people always fight like 无毛视频渄ogs and cats?无毛视频�
And then they get 无毛视频渄og-tired,无毛视频� and, consequently, they get as 无毛视频渟ick as a dog.无毛视频�
When it rains, why do people say it无毛视频檚 raining 无毛视频渃ats and dogs?无毛视频�
I无毛视频檝e never seen a cat or a dog rain.
Have you?
People are often accused of 无毛视频減utting the cart before the horse.无毛视频� Or, getting something 无毛视频渟traight from the horse无毛视频檚 mouth.无毛视频� Or not being able to 无毛视频渢each an old dog new tricks.无毛视频� I wonder what would happen if you tried to teach an 无毛视频渙ld dog无毛视频� OLD tricks.
Just a thought.
I无毛视频檝e asked this question before. But why do animals contribute so much to our colorful language?
While on the subject of our colorful language, whenever you cut through a lot of 无毛视频渞ed tape,无毛视频� it could be called a 无毛视频渞ed letter无毛视频� day, unless the 无毛视频渞ed tape无毛视频� you无毛视频檙e cutting through is somebody else无毛视频檚 money and you get caught 无毛视频渞ed-handed.无毛视频�
Once in a 无毛视频渂lue moon,无毛视频� I get the 无毛视频渂lues,无毛视频� when I suspect the 无毛视频渨alls have ears.无毛视频�
That无毛视频檚 a time when I have to 无毛视频渒eep my ear to the ground,无毛视频� despite that being nearly impossible at my age.
I guess it无毛视频檚 time to finish this diatribe.
I无毛视频檓 going to have to (ugh) 无毛视频渉it the sack.无毛视频�
Edward A. Owens is a multi-Emmy Award winner, former reporter, and anchor for Entertainment Tonight, and 40-year TV news and newspaper veteran. E-mail him at freedoms@bellatlantic.net.