Finding cures you don’t seek
I was just minding my own business last Saturday morning.
At least I thought I was.
I happened to be watching one of those public affairs/newsmaker programs on a certain cable news network when they broke for commercials (12 of them lasting five solid minutes).
Yet, it wasn无毛视频檛 the number of commercials that caught my attention. It was their nature that piqued my interest.
Ten out of 12 of them were health-related.
First, there was a spot for Neutrogena无毛视频檚 无毛视频淗ydro Boost formula for that healthy skin glow.无毛视频�
That无毛视频檚 for people who believe having a 无毛视频渉ealthy skin glow无毛视频� is something to which they aspire.
Next, there was a short ad from Abbott (Laboratories) about getting help for an irregular heartbeat.
There was a brief spot for Viking Cruises, which was a welcome respite from the medical-related commercials that came before and after it.
That was followed by a woman singing the praises of Dulcolax Laxative, because, among other things, it无毛视频檚 无毛视频済reat tasting.无毛视频�
A commercial for Stelara came next.
It无毛视频檚 a medication for the treatment of Crohn无毛视频檚 Disease (an inflammatory bowel disease).
Then, there was a quick spot for a Pedialyte hydration drink. I gathered from the commercial it无毛视频檚 good for people who run around and stop to take a swig of the stuff.
Do you see a pattern emerging?
I无毛视频檓 a fairly suggestible person.
After a series of these spots, I started thinking I may need to set up an appointment to get my health back in order.
At this point, they wedged in a few seconds about a money management firm.
I wasn无毛视频檛 the least bit interested in it. But I did feel a sense of relief that they weren无毛视频檛 trying to shove some pills down my throat.
Next came another Neutrogena spot. Unlike the first Neutrogena spot, this one was about some sort of 无毛视频渞apid repair cream.无毛视频�
It无毛视频檚 for people who might think, 无毛视频淨uick! I need to repair my skin, rapidly,无毛视频� I suppose.
I无毛视频檓 having some difficulty trying to explain the next ad that followed in the series.
It was for a website that specializes in pointing people in the direction of help for their (supposed) Peyronie无毛视频檚 Disease (PD). I can only say that women don无毛视频檛 have that particular malady.
All of the bad puns in the world won无毛视频檛 allow me to explain what it is here.
By now, I was hoping that the array of ads would, mercifully, end. That the show would resume before I might be tempted to call a paramedic.
Fat chance.
They immediately ran an ad for an app that tests the glucose levels of diabetics.
That was followed by Bactine, which is supposed to help you with those 无毛视频渂oo-boo无毛视频� problems, with its 无毛视频淎dvanced healing +Scar Defense无毛视频� properties.
I had the urge to shout, 无毛视频淚 don无毛视频檛 get 无毛视频榖oo-boos无毛视频� anymore.无毛视频�
I无毛视频檓 in my 70s.
They weren无毛视频檛 listening.
They never do.
Because they still weren无毛视频檛 finished.
They wound up their torturous block of spots with one for the over-the-counter medication Garlique, which the actress claims helps her maintain a healthy blood pressure level.
Ironically, that woman who appeared in the Garlique ad is the very same woman who appeared in that Dulcolax laxative commercial, and who was happy about how 无毛视频済reat tasting无毛视频� that laxative is.
Whoever she is, I无毛视频檓 betting she无毛视频檚 probably pretty healthy.
Unfortunately, for me, after five minutes of that barrage of medications, I wanted to run to the nearest pharmacy and buy out the place.
I无毛视频檇 been watching CNN. But I无毛视频檓 sure there are viewers of other cable news networks who suffer the same kinds of nonstop messaging.
Over at FOX News, the treatments are all prescribed by their nighttime hosts, who believe there无毛视频檚 something wrong with America, and that the only cure is Donald Trump.
Their persistence is so straight-faced and enthusiastic, that many of their viewers are powerless to apply common sense to it.
I refused to fall under the spell of those endless ads.
But sadly, those folks have fallen under the spell of Trump and his eager enablers.
Edward A. Owens is a multi-Emmy Award winner, former reporter, and anchor for Entertainment Tonight, and 40-year TV news and newspaper veteran. E-mail him at freedoms@bellatlantic.net.