Talking with kids about Ukraine
A Ukrainian flag, alongside sunflowers, the Ukrainian national flower, are displayed in front of St. Peter and St. Paul Ukrainian Orthodox Church in Carnegie. (Photo by Katherine Mansfield)
Dr. Joann Jankoski
Dr. Anthony Mannarino
Images on television and social media of Russia无毛视频檚 invasion of Ukraine have shocked and outraged people around the world, and left the international community unsure about what will happen next.
Children, too, are feeling the stress and fear.
Mental health experts say it无毛视频檚 important for parents to talk to their children about the conflict between Russia and Ukraine because if they无毛视频檙e not getting information from trusted adults, they无毛视频檙e hearing about it elsewhere.
无毛视频淜ids are going to hear about it, one way or another, at school with friends, or in the news, so I think it无毛视频檚 important to have a conversation with kids about it, and really try to share what facts we know,无毛视频� said Dr. Anthony Mannarino, a child and adolescent psychologist who serves as chair of the Allegheny Health Network Psychiatry and Behavioral Health Institute and director of the Center for Traumatic Stress in Children and Adolescents.
Mannarino said conversations with children should aim to reassure them they are safe, while using age-appropriate language.
Young children, tweens and teenagers all share some of the same worries, he said 无毛视频� am I safe, are my parents and family safe, is this going to happen here, and how will this impact our lives 无毛视频� but the amount of information parents share will depend on the child.
无毛视频淲ith really young kids, 4, 5, or 6 years of age, a parent may want to have a conversation that无毛视频檚 brief: there无毛视频檚 a problem in a place far, far away from where we are, and for them not to worry about it,无毛视频� said Mannarino.
Parents can have more extended conversations with older kids and teens.
无毛视频淜ids need information, but also reassurance that the people they care about and love are safe, and second, they need to know that a whole bunch of countries in the world are uniting to support Ukraine and end the conflict, to make sure the battle doesn无毛视频檛 go past Ukraine, and to keep the battle out of the United States,无毛视频� said Mannarino.
For all ages, honesty matters, said Dr. Joann Jankoski, Associate Professor of Human Development and Family Studies at Penn State Fayette, Eberly Campus. If a child asks if you无毛视频檙e worried, it无毛视频檚 all right to say yes.
无毛视频淎s an adult, it hurts my heart, my soul, to see this human suffering. It无毛视频檚 OK to say, 无毛视频楾his is a little scary, but we无毛视频檙e safe,'无毛视频� said Jankoski.
It无毛视频檚 tempting to keep the TV on to stay up to date on the events of the war, but Mannarino and Jankoski say it could have a negative impact on kids.
Studies show that children who watched 9/11 coverage and other traumatic events had increased stress and anxiety.
Children absorb more information than we know, said Jankoski. Watching the footage of bombs, missiles, and tanks rolling along streets can be disturbing.
无毛视频淲e need to control and limit the flood of information. We need to limit social media,无毛视频� said Jankoski.
That might include unplugging the TV for a while.
Jankoski and Mannarino said children take their cues on how to handle their emotions from their parents, so remaining calm and optimistic is essential.
无毛视频淜ids learn by what their parents do as much as what they say, so if they see their parents being optimistic, and taking care of themselves, exercising and staying in a good routine, kids will do the same things,无毛视频� said Mannarino.
It might also help for children to take action in order to feel like they are helping.
For example, doing a project or chores to raise money for charities supporting Ukraine helps kids make a difference, while at the same time 无毛视频渉aving our kids become part of the solution to spread peace and love,无毛视频� said Jankoski.
It无毛视频檚 important, Jankoski said, to check in on children as the war continues, and to create a space that allows for listening. Turn off the TV and phone, and look at children eyeball to eyeball, she suggests.
无毛视频淓ven though we had a conversation one day, we can无毛视频檛 just let it go at that,无毛视频� she said. 无毛视频淲e don无毛视频檛 know how long this is going to go on, so we need to check in with our kids regularly.无毛视频�
Mannarino acknowledged that the escalating war in Ukraine comes on the heels of the COVID-19 pandemic, and it无毛视频檚 been a stressful time for children. So it无毛视频檚 helpful, he said, to remind children about the good things happening in their lives, and to encourage them to be kids and have fun.
无毛视频淚 imagine kids are wondering, with all kinds of bad stuff happening, are we going to be OK? I encourage parents to recognize kids无毛视频� fears and remind them of all the positive things in their lives, and that their parents love them,无毛视频� he said.
And, Mannarino said, let kids know that things will get better.
无毛视频淭he world has been through disasters for thousands of years,无毛视频� he said. 无毛视频淲hile we无毛视频檙e going through this, hold on to things that are positive to get through every day.无毛视频�