According to Hofmann: Work: There’s an app for that
I无毛视频檝e been spending more time on my smartphone because I found an app that allows me to play games on my phone in the comfort of my own home or even the uncomfort of a dentist无毛视频檚 chair and get paid to do it!
Sure, I have to reach level 42,600 in Candy Crush within four days to qualify to get paid, and I had to ignore family, friends and responsibilities, and take a few vacation days from work to get it done.
Even though I have overdue bills and a failed marriage, at least I have an extra $5 for my efforts.
While I无毛视频檓 enjoying that little side endeavor, the one thing I do find annoying are the video ads that come with it.
Those ads run roughly five times every minute while I无毛视频檓 playing my game, and those ads are normally for other game apps for me to download and play so I can be subjected to more ads for game apps for me to download and play and无毛视频�
Wait, I think I无毛视频檓 seeking a pattern here.
There are a bombardment of app ads (appads?) that want me to play a game that essentially mimics a career.
These career games are categorized as 无毛视频渟imulation games,无毛视频� and you as the player embark on missions to work a job in a video-game-like sort of way.
The types of games include, (and I swear I无毛视频檓 not making up any of these things), hotel employment, township supervisor, hair stylist, tow-truck driver, truck-stop owner, tractor-trailer driver, chefs, fast-food cook, short-order cook, package deliverer, mortician, farmer, building landlord, pizza shop owner/worker, coal miner, pawn-shop owner, car washer, parking-lot manager, airport-security employee and many, many more.
After browsing various ads, I decided to get specific and see if the two main occupations I无毛视频檝e had in my lifetime made the cut.
First, I searched for 无毛视频済as station attendant simulator无毛视频� and found there were about five or six games where you can play as an attendant, pumping gas, wiping windshields, checking oil and tire pressure, and getting yelled at by irate customers.
Yep. That sounds pretty accurate.
Second, I searched for my current position and typed 无毛视频渘ewspaper reporter simulator无毛视频� and found two games 无毛视频� one for a TV news reporter (they get all the glory) and one for an editor that basically shows a line of reporters entering your office with headlines on already-printed newspapers, and your character in the game either approves or rejects them by throwing the papers directly in a shredder, causing the reporter to run away in tears
Again, pretty accurate 无毛视频� kidding!
Now, these types of games aren无毛视频檛 new. I remember as a kid playing a video game where you get to be a paper boy or a pilot in a flight simulator or even a pioneer and his family, making their way west on a wagon convoy.
The latter, of course, is 无毛视频淭he Oregon Trail,无毛视频� which is also available to play on an app.
If you were a grade-school student in the 80s and 90s, chances are you played 无毛视频淭he Oregon Trail无毛视频� as it was almost a requirement in schools because how else can you learn about supply management and dysentery?
While I无毛视频檓 making fun of this a great deal, I also spent an equal amount of time trying to figure out why this is being done and who无毛视频檚 behind it.
To answer the second question, I put on my conspiracy-theory hat (just a ball cap that reads 无毛视频淐onspiracy Theory无毛视频� in magic marker) and determined the responsible party is the International Coalition of High School Guidance Counselors.
To answer why they无毛视频檙e doing it, I adjusted my conspiracy-theory hat (I flipped the ball cap backwards and stuck a feather behind my ear) and realized the simple solution is to get kids interested in careers that they hear their parents complain about, therefore, making the guidance counselor无毛视频檚 job easier.
无毛视频淗old on, Timmy. Are you telling me you don无毛视频檛 want to be a taxi driver in Detroit? Didn无毛视频檛 you post online that you just reached level 9,542 in 无毛视频楾axi Simulator无毛视频�? As your guidance counselor, I advise you to change your mind. You have the gift, son, don无毛视频檛 waste it!无毛视频�
It无毛视频檚 like when you无毛视频檙e a kid and you want to learn to shave, so your parents get you a plastic shaving kit so you can pretend to be an adult and shave in the mirror. Then you get older and then it becomes a chore and you long for the days where you would only need the plastic razor 无毛视频� and more hair, but just on your head instead of your face, chest, knuckles and back 无毛视频� you ladies know what I无毛视频檓 talking about.
You think I无毛视频檓 lying? You think I无毛视频檓 crazy? Well, I searched for guidance counselor simulation games and no such game popped up.
So, to the three teenagers who read this column to get clues on where I live to place flaming bags of dog poop on my porch, take this advice: get your noses out of your phones and don无毛视频檛 be manipulated. If you无毛视频檙e going to be disappointed with your career choices, be like the rest of us and make sure they无毛视频檙e your choices.
Meanwhile, I无毛视频檓 going to return to my side job by playing Gas Station Simulator 3D on my phone and raking in that sweet, sweet extra 15 cents per hour.
Take that, guidance counselors!
According to Hofmann is written by staff reporter Mark Hofmann of Rostraver Township. His books, 无毛视频淕ood Mourning! A Guide to Biting the Big One 无毛视频� and Dying, Too无毛视频� and 无毛视频淪tupid Brain,无毛视频� are available on Amazon.com.