According to Hofmann: Thou doth protest too much, methinks
I无毛视频檝e been noticing a lot of public protests lately, and I can无毛视频檛 seem to put my finger on why, exactly.
C无毛视频檓on, folks, just because I write the news doesn无毛视频檛 necessarily mean I constantly follow it. Imagine that you work in a sandwich shop and your job is to, well, make sandwiches 无毛视频� just sandwiches all day long. Sandwich after sandwich after sandwich after sandwich无毛视频�
Finally, at the end of your shift, you come home and find yourself ready for dinner. What are you hungry for?
Well, I may not know what you无毛视频檙e hungry for, but I do know what you无毛视频檙e not hungry for, and that无毛视频檚 protesting because either those filthy hippies or those uptight conformists stole your sandwich boards to make protest signs.
That无毛视频檚 right. No matter where you stand on any issue, I hope we can come together and agree that protestors and protests can be annoying.
Don无毛视频檛 get me wrong, I wholeheartedly believe that people should express their passionate opinions on events and issues by protesting because it无毛视频檚 a cherished byproduct of this county无毛视频檚 ever-so-important First Amendment.
I just don无毛视频檛 want to see it or hear it.
Those silent, sit-in protests back in the day were really the way to go. I wish people still practiced those, but now everyone thinks the world is their Facebook page.
So, let无毛视频檚 start with the sights at a protest.
The term 无毛视频渄ress for success无毛视频� is ideal for any individual who wants to present themselves in a manner that perfectly accents the subject to which they无毛视频檙e knowledgeable and committed.
For example, if you want to gather and express your desire for better conditions for the working man, you should wear a pair of nice jeans, a casual, but not-too-loud short-sleeved shirt and sneakers or work boots.
When people see that, they know you无毛视频檙e passionate, yet level-headed and reasonable about that topic.
On the other hand, when you dress as a Minotaur with the top human part as George Washington screaming the alphabet while swinging around a bucket filled with ham salad, people will likely take notice, but will also avoid all eye contact as they flee from you in terror.
I have to admit, from what I无毛视频檝e seen, some signs at protests have been clever over the years, but only when those making the signs adhere to the acronym KISS, meaning they need to rock 无毛视频榥 roll all night and party every day.
Just kidding. It means 无毛视频淜eep It Simple, Stupid无毛视频�.
Oddly enough, it无毛视频檚 when people use acronyms in their signs that it gets very confusing. Sometimes, you spend so much time reading the sign, you lose focus on what they无毛视频檙e for or against.
A-acronyms
颁-肠补苍无毛视频檛
R-really
O-opine the
N-notion that
Y-you
M-mean to express in any meaningful way,
S-stupid
If the sights weren无毛视频檛 enough to turn you into an agoraphobic, then the sounds will cause you to scrape your fingernails across a chalkboard for some peace and quiet.
First, there无毛视频檚 the screaming and, yes, it can be as shrill as the passion the screamer tends to have, but the screaming that really annoys me is the tone people use while audibly projecting their point. It sounds like they无毛视频檙e trying to read assembly instructions for an entertainment center to someone over the sound of a running vacuum cleaner.
Worse yet are the chants.
I don无毛视频檛 know how old the chant 无毛视频淗ey-hey, ho-ho (fill in the blank of something you don无毛视频檛 like) has got to go无毛视频� is, but I think it无毛视频檚 time to retire it.
无毛视频淗i, John, I think I found a great chant for our protest against lazy songwriters.无毛视频�
无毛视频淪ounds good, Frank. Let无毛视频檚 hear what you have.无毛视频�
无毛视频淗ey-hey, ho-ho, lazy songwriters have got-无毛视频�
无毛视频淵ou无毛视频檙e fired, Frank.无毛视频�
Let无毛视频檚 be clear, I无毛视频檓 not asking anyone to pen 无毛视频淏lowin无毛视频� in the Wind,无毛视频� but if someone is taking time out of their day to prance around in public wearing a homemade manatee suit with a harpoon through the head outside of a tuna factory, then they can at least take a little time on the way there to come up with an original jingle.
Oh, well. I guess it无毛视频檚 time to get off my soapbox and thank you for letting me rant about this because, quite honestly, I don无毛视频檛 know of any other way to publicly express my disgust of the issue of people publicly expressing their disgust over an issue.
According to Hofmann is written by staff reporter Mark Hofmann of Rostraver Township. His books, 无毛视频淕ood Mourning! A Guide to Biting the Big One 无毛视频� and Dying, Too无毛视频� and 无毛视频淪tupid Brain,无毛视频� are available on Amazon.com.