According to Hofmann: Virginia grew up
Christmas 2021 was a bittersweet experience in the Hofmann household as it marked the year that then-11-year-old Emma told us she stopped believing in Santa Claus.
Well, technically, she didn无毛视频檛 tell us. She told my wife, Amber, earlier that day. Amber, later at the dinner table, said, 无毛视频淓mma told me that she doesn无毛视频檛 believe in Santa anymore.无毛视频�
I had to stop eating and assess the situation as both ladies were staring at me as well as the dog, but that无毛视频檚 because I had pot roast dangling from my beard.
I didn无毛视频檛 answer right away because I无毛视频檝e been in that situation before. It was the Christmas of 2020, when Emma was questioning the existence of Santa Claus, and I was stuck to provide an answer. I had wanted to tell her the truth, but the expression on Amber无毛视频檚 face pretty much said, 无毛视频淢ake her believe or there无毛视频檚 no magic under the mistletoe for you.无毛视频�
Of course, I didn无毛视频檛 want Emma无毛视频檚 Christmas spirit to break, so I brought forth another one of my yes-Virginia-there-is-a-Santa-Claus moments and explained away her concerns and doubts, using the scapegoat of the pandemic and the aurora borealis. Either explanation normally seems to work.
However, Amber gave no such expression at the 2021 dinner table, so whatever argument Emma earlier put forth to her pretty much told Amber that the jig was finally up.
无毛视频淵es, Emma, you got us,无毛视频� I said. 无毛视频淪o which one of your punk friends at school told you? It无毛视频檚 that girl with the spiky hair and black lipstick, isn无毛视频檛 it?无毛视频�
Emma insisted that nobody told her, that she figured it out on her own last year and was just playing along. Whether she was being truthful about it or not, I don无毛视频檛 know, and I really can无毛视频檛 blame her. Let无毛视频檚 face it, her mother and I were the ones who have been deceiving her for years.
Turns out, she had more questions for us than I did for her.
无毛视频淪o it was you the whole time? How did you get the presents in the house? Did you write the letters to me? Did you buy and wrap all the presents? Did you eat all the cookies and drink the milk 无毛视频� oh, I guess you did, tubby. Are the Santas at the mall even helpers or are they just masochists who dress up to have kids whine to them, blow snot over them, have accidents on them and kick them in the shins?无毛视频�
Okay, that last question was one I无毛视频檝e been asking for years, but answering all of Emma无毛视频檚 questions made me feel like a magician giving away all of his secrets, which was why my answer to all of her questions was 无毛视频渕irrors.无毛视频�
It was also a chance to take credit for years of work up to and on Christmas Day for which Santa had been getting all the gold stars.
无毛视频淚 was up until 3 a.m. on Christmas Day moving a three-quarters-assembled Barbie Dream House from the attic to the living room.无毛视频�
无毛视频淢om said you were pounding eggnog and watching 无毛视频楧ie Hard无毛视频�.无毛视频�
无毛视频淚 did it all at once because I am legend!无毛视频�
Needless to say, she didn无毛视频檛 believe my feat was legendary. I guess it无毛视频檚 hard to be considered a legend when a dog is jumping up on you and tearing pot roast away from your facial hair.
At one point following dinner, Amber 无毛视频� still clinging on to the straws of living vicariously through Emma无毛视频檚 childhood 无毛视频� instructed me to say nothing about the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy.
I had to break it to her that there无毛视频檚 no point in doing so because a domino effect takes place with Santa being the biggest domino there is. Once that domino falls, it easily crushes the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny and even Trunky, the Arbor Day Maple Tree.
Sure enough, Emma saw the Santa domino drop on the other mythical creatures, but that wasn无毛视频檛 my concern. What I did was contact friends and family to let them know I was finally set free from the Santa trap, which included no more Elf on the Shelf, which was a thorn in my holiday hump for years 无毛视频� hiding it every night or early morning from Thanksgiving to Christmas.
Even though Emma took the confirmation of her suspicions well, she didn无毛视频檛 agree to my suggestion of a ritual burning of the elf in the front lawn.
I know I无毛视频檓 gushing over the whole thing, but I have to admit there is a sadness that comes with it, too. It无毛视频檚 another page turning in the book of Emma无毛视频檚 life and once a new chapter begins, we can无毛视频檛 go back to experience that magic and innocence again. It无毛视频檚 now reserved only for our memories.
Sure, it was a genuine pain to assemble a Barbie Dream House at 3 a.m., but it was worth it to see Emma无毛视频檚 face light up with the awe and wonder that only Santa Claus can bring.
Let无毛视频檚 face it, the story of Santa Claus delivering that gift was way better than mine.
That无毛视频檚 why Santa is and always will be a true legend.
According to Hofmann is written by staff reporter Mark Hofmann of Rostraver Township. His books, 无毛视频淕ood Mourning! A Guide to Biting the Big One无毛视频nd Dying, Too无毛视频� and 无毛视频淪tupid Brain,无毛视频� are available on Amazon.com.