According to Hofmann: The stupidest thing I ever heard
I often hear the phrase, 无毛视频淭hat无毛视频檚 the stupidest thing I ever heard.无毛视频�
That无毛视频檚 mostly from my wife when I tell her what my upcoming column is going to be.
However, after hearing that phrase from her at least 52 weeks out of the year, it kind of loses its luster. The stupidest thing one would ever hear should not be thrown around like the other sayings like 无毛视频淚 love you无毛视频� or 无毛视频淚无毛视频檒l never forget this moment无毛视频� or 无毛视频淲e the jury find无毛视频ξ廾悠禎 because after you truly hear the stupidest thing you ever heard, two things happen.
First, you never, ever forget the stupidest thing you ever heard. I无毛视频檝e forgotten my own birthday on occasion, but the stupidest thing I ever heard has always stayed with me.
Second, after you hear the stupidest thing you ever heard, you look for something to top it. You either do that consciously or subconsciously, which I无毛视频檝e literally done for decades.
Now, before I reveal the stupidest thing I ever heard, I won无毛视频檛 disclose from whom I heard it as the person is still alive and hadn无毛视频檛 died from their own stupidity like I wagered they would.
All I can tell you is the person was not a child when they said it, nor were they under the influence of alcohol or any legal or illegal drugs, and they said what they said with absolute seriousness.
Okay, I built this thing up enough. The stupidest thing I无毛视频檝e ever heard was:
无毛视频淚 believe, if you think about it hard enough, you can fly.无毛视频�
Anyone who无毛视频檚 a regular reader of this column may find that phrase familiar. I mentioned it in a column about someone spending over $250 for blue jeans that were designed to look muddy, and here无毛视频檚 the quote from that column:
无毛视频淎side from it being the stupidest thing I ever heard, not counting when someone once told me they believe if they really think hard enough, they can fly无毛视频ξ廾悠禎
Even the jeans didn无毛视频檛 out-stupid the stupidest thing I ever heard, and when I wrote that line four years ago, I mentioned it as a goalpost in terms of stupid things I无毛视频檝e heard.
To go over how stupid the stupidest thing I ever heard is, I无毛视频檒l break it down by examining it phrase by phrase.
First, there无毛视频檚 无毛视频淚 believe,无毛视频� which means what无毛视频檚 about to follow is a conviction of faith from the speaker 无毛视频� much like one believes in a higher power, a lower power or solar power.
Then we have 无毛视频渋f you think about it hard enough.无毛视频�
Thinking hard; that无毛视频檚 something of which the author of the statement has never been accused.
Also, thinking hard is one thing, but thinking 无毛视频渉ard enough无毛视频� takes it to another level.
I无毛视频檝e always had a problem with doing something to the point of 无毛视频渆nough无毛视频� because it无毛视频檚 a goal without a metric, much like a rebel without a cause or an Abbott without a Costello.
For example, if someone gives me a riddle to solve, and I can无毛视频檛 do it and give up, they tell me I无毛视频檓 not thinking hard enough.
无毛视频淗ow hard is hard enough?无毛视频� I无毛视频檇 say.
无毛视频淯ntil your eyes twitch and ears start bleeding,无毛视频� they无毛视频檇 say.
Then I would feel confident of what I need to do to solve the riddle.
On the other hand, if I ask how hard is enough in the same scenario, and what无毛视频檚 enough is completely unknown, what can they say?
无毛视频淵ou无毛视频檒l know it无毛视频檚 not enough when you don无毛视频檛 have the answer, it无毛视频檚 enough when you have the answer and it无毛视频檚 more than enough when you die.无毛视频�
So, yeah, enough ain无毛视频檛 really enough, especially when I bring up the last and key phrase of the comment, and that无毛视频檚, 无毛视频測ou can fly.无毛视频�
I无毛视频檇 like to offer some context, but I don无毛视频檛 recall what in the conversation sparked the stupidest thing I ever heard.
I can, however, tell you the statement wasn无毛视频檛 made regarding purchasing an airplane ticket and boarding a commercial flight or studying to be a pilot to legally operate an aircraft.
The statement meant that a human being could levitate without the aid of wires, magnets, wind, jet pack or David Copperfield, and then rely on self-propulsion to travel by air from one location to the other.
They say when you experience trauma, your brain manages to block out everything that happened; I think something similar happened in this case because I honestly can无毛视频檛 remember how I responded to the stupidest thing I ever heard. I must have handled it well because I无毛视频檓 pretty sure a debate didn无毛视频檛 follow, and I know the subject was never brought up again.
Now, I have to say, something else happened to me after the stupidest thing I ever heard.
To this day, every now and then, I look up to the sky, into the clouds and the unexplored infinite possibilities that exist beyond this planet, and I think 无毛视频� nay, I believe 无毛视频� that even the stupidest thing could very well be true.
Nah, just kidding. I just get a good chuckle out of it every now and then.
According to Hofmann is written by staff reporter Mark Hofmann of Rostraver Township. His books, 无毛视频淕ood Mourning! A Guide to Biting the Big One 无毛视频� and Dying, Too无毛视频� and 无毛视频淪tupid Brain,无毛视频� are available on Amazon.com