According to Hofmann: Social interactions and reactions
I无毛视频檝e been really wanting to take advantage of purchasing groceries online for pickup and delivery, but that 无毛视频渇amily无毛视频� of mine insists that we grocery shop at the store so I can 无毛视频済et some air,无毛视频� so I can 无毛视频渟top practicing to be a hermit无毛视频� and so I can 无毛视频渞elearn social interaction.无毛视频�
The thing about social interaction are the plenty of pitfalls that go with it, like sneezing in your hand before shaking someone无毛视频檚 hand, someone sneezing in their own hand before shaking your hand and you sneezing in someone无毛视频檚 hand as they try to block you from hugging them.
Of course, that无毛视频檚 more a CDC issue to worry about. What I无毛视频檓 discussing in today无毛视频檚 column is the social awkwardness you feel when running into someone you know while you无毛视频檙e shopping in the store.
And it无毛视频檚 not just anyone. It无毛视频檚 a person whom you haven无毛视频檛 seen in so long, the reunion warrants either a hug or a hearty, non-phlegm-coated handshake.
After that, you talk to this person, you catch up on how they无毛视频檝e been, what they无毛视频檙e up to now, what无毛视频檚 new in their world, how their family is doing, if they still recycle, if they无毛视频檝e given up on life, etc.
The exchange takes roughly five to 15 minutes as the two of you stand in the aisle as irritated shoppers trying to make their way around you. It无毛视频檚 an ordeal, for sure.
That exchange also happens while you无毛视频檙e crossing paths with this person because how often are you in the store and you nudge the person you are with and say, 无毛视频淗ey, doesn无毛视频檛 the back of that guy无毛视频檚 head look like the back of Dale无毛视频檚 head? I无毛视频檝e seen the back of that head somewhere before! I hope they forget something and have to turn around to get it so I know for sure.无毛视频�
The problem with your conversation comes soon after, when you have exhausted your initial conversation with the person, but you then cross paths with them in the next aisle.
That无毛视频檚 the part that makes me uncomfortable as I feel as though I无毛视频檓 being set up for a whole new greeting or a continuation of the conversation or making up lies about my personal life to make me appear normal, but I have nothing else left to talk about with this person.
The solutions I无毛视频檝e tried over the years have left me unsatisfied and full of self loathing 无毛视频� more than normal. That is evident as I walk away, muttering, 无毛视频渟tupid, stupid, stupid!无毛视频�
One thing I无毛视频檝e done is, when passing by, smile and say 无毛视频渉i无毛视频� again, and they either nod and say 无毛视频渉i无毛视频� back, neither of us knowing why.
Sometimes, I just say the person无毛视频檚 name, but I say it in a way that the person无毛视频檚 name is funny or I无毛视频檓 saying it like there无毛视频檚 something awesome about the name. Again, I don无毛视频檛 know why I无毛视频檝e done that.
Once, such a person was passing me in the breakfast aisle as I was buying a box of Frosted Flakes, and I just held it up and said, 无毛视频渃ereal,无毛视频� and the person smiled and nodded as they walked by, like I was a lame exhibit at the zoo.
The other option is walking past them, maybe making eye contact, but saying nothing. That, strangely enough, is the most disturbing to me. The reason is because you and this other person just had this big reunion in the condiment aisle, and then you walk past them in the frozen food section like you无毛视频檙e total strangers.
Now, I无毛视频檓 sure mostly everyone has experienced this phenomenon, which I无毛视频檓 naming The Law of Diminishing Conversation, but I don无毛视频檛 know if anyone feels the same way I do about it, which I无毛视频檓 naming The Law of I Hope I无毛视频檓 Not the Only Crazy One Here.
What can I say? I无毛视频檓 not good at naming sociological laws or knowing basic sociology, for that matter, but I无毛视频檓 good with coming up with solutions to such issues.
When running into a long-time-no-see person, you have to be aware of your surroundings, meaning what aisle you happen to be in will determine when you temporarily cut ties with that person.
If you are in the back of the store, making your way to the front, and they无毛视频檙e doing the same, you meet, greet, hug/handshake/make out a little and then you say, 无毛视频淐atch you in the next aisle无毛视频� or 无毛视频淭o be continued by the pasta section.无毛视频�
You then continue shopping until you run into them again and say, 无毛视频淪o, how无毛视频檚 your mom and them doing?无毛视频�
After that exchange, you repeat the process, running into them in the next aisle and saying, 无毛视频淒id I mention I still have that goiter?无毛视频�
It无毛视频檚 a wonderful system because every time you see them, you have something new to talk about, you无毛视频檙e not holding up any other shoppers and you have time to think about the next subject so you two aren无毛视频檛 standing there, staring at each other with dumb smiles on your faces, waiting for the other person to speak, which I named The Law of Verbal Chicken.
Keep in mind, you have to make adjustments when you无毛视频檙e either halfway through your shopping or nearly done with your shopping, but that无毛视频檚 up to you to gauge and execute.
With that said, I have high hopes that this column will help spread the word, as this is a trend that needs to be universally known 无毛视频� much like accepting a hug from an old friend instead of what germs their suspiciously wet hand may contain.
According to Hofmann is written by staff reporter Mark Hofmann of Rostraver Township. His books, 无毛视频淕ood Mourning! A Guide to Biting the Big One 无毛视频� and Dying, Too无毛视频� and 无毛视频淪tupid Brain,无毛视频� are available on Amazon.com.