According to Hofmann: Every dog has it’s day…at the table
The image of having a dog begging and/or waiting for food below a family dinner table is as iconic as The Beatles crossing Abbey Road or Albert Einstein sticking his tongue out at the camera or the construction workers eating lunch on a steel beam of a skyscraper in New York City where, I无毛视频檓 sure, there was a dog 800 feet below, waiting for scraps to fall.
Sometimes it无毛视频檚 hard to believe dogs descended from wolves, especially when you look at a poodle无毛视频hen you spend time with a vicious poodle and then it无毛视频檚 not all that hard to believe.
But even though dogs sitting below dinner tables are a far cry from their hunting ancestors, the cunningness of the hunt is still in all domesticated dogs. Well, that and slobbering.
That notion became crystal clear to me recently when we watched my brother-in-law无毛视频檚 German Shepherd named Buck for a few days, and I observed him and my Australian Shepherd/Border Collie named Oreo at the dinner table.
Now, to set the stage, there are four people at my dinner table (my wife, my daughter, my mother and me), or six individuals whenever you count Oreo and Buck jumping up to the table to see what无毛视频檚 on the menu.
Actually, the two were pretty good in that regard, but I noticed they were both circling around the table whenever a new motion or sound caught their attention.
They pay extra attention because they无毛视频檙e waiting for that golden distraction that takes a person无毛视频檚 eyes away from their food to strike.
Along with that, it seemed that Buck was observing and listening to Oreo during their normal stalking of dinner, like Oreo was explaining his tried-and-true layout and strategy to snatch food away from the table.
无毛视频淪o the fat man is the one you ignore,无毛视频� Oreo was likely saying to Buck. 无毛视频淗is mouth is a black hole that sucks in all the food surrounding him. If he starts talking about something called 无毛视频楤atman,无毛视频� he gets excited and sometimes food falls from his mouth, but believe me, that无毛视频檚 a rare occurrence. He almost ate his own hand once!
无毛视频淭he female next to him, the one that calls herself 无毛视频楳ommy-kins,无毛视频� is a risk; she may throw some food at you to shut you up if you start barking, but if you go too far and bark too much, they无毛视频檒l move you to the spare room where there无毛视频檚 not even a carpet on which to go to the bathroom, so what无毛视频檚 the point? Besides she gives all her remaining food to the fat man.
无毛视频淵our best bets are the two remaining females无毛视频搕he youngest and the oldest. Their hearts are soft, and their wills are weak. A wide-eyed glance and a soft whine or bark can land you a piece of meat or two, or the older one will even lower her plate and instruct you to 无毛视频榗lean it for grammy.无毛视频� That无毛视频檚 the gold mine, especially, if the fat one yells at her to stop and a dinner roll falls to the floor in all the mayhem like the Thanksgiving of 2020, which was a long time ago in our years.无毛视频�
If you don无毛视频檛 believe me when I tell you it无毛视频檚 really like that, pay attention to your dog the next time you and your family sit down to dinner or lunch or breakfast or even if everyone in your household sits down to pretend to eat dinner because you无毛视频檙e a family of mimes.
You have to really pay attention to your dog to the point where your food gets cold and your joints begin to stiffen, but you无毛视频檒l eventually see it.
You无毛视频檒l see your dog wondering why you无毛视频檙e not eating and not moving and maybe not breathing, if you happen to be a truly dedicated observer, and your dog will tilt their head like they do when you say something they don无毛视频檛 understand.
At that point your dog will know you无毛视频檙e wise to them, and then the game is truly on.
Just be aware that if you happen to have two dogs in the house, chances are the second dog has already jumped up to get the food you无毛视频檙e ignoring. Then, while you无毛视频檙e chasing/yelling/cursing/barking at that dog for taking half your food, the first dog has jumped up to the table to take your other half of food.
Just like they planned it.
According to Hofmann is written by staff reporter Mark Hofmann of Rostraver Township. His books, 无毛视频淕ood Mourning! A Guide to Biting the Big One无毛视频nd Dying, Too无毛视频� and 无毛视频淪tupid Brain,无毛视频� are available on Amazon.com. He co-hosts the 无毛视频淟ocally Yours无毛视频� radio show on WMBS 590 AM every Friday.