According to Hofmann: Ghosts of holiday movie-debate past
Just when you thought it was safe to tell people what your favorite Christmas movie is, someone has to come and ruin it for you.
As many of you know, I无毛视频檝e been a strong advocate to have 无毛视频淒ie Hard无毛视频� be recognized as a Christmas movie 无毛视频� I even went to Washington D.C., though it was for a high school field trip. But the spirit of my conviction of 无毛视频淒ie Hard无毛视频� being a Christmas movie was at least in my heart at the time.
Anyway, in my quest to legitimize 无毛视频淒ie Hard无毛视频� as a proper Christmas movie, it seems that a whole new crop of movies sprung up to also claim themselves as Christmas-movie staples.
I was even more taken aback to see those movies appeared with 无毛视频淒ie Hard无毛视频� on several must-see Christmas movie lists.
Some of these movies made me say, 无毛视频淲ell, okay, I never thought of that film being a Christmas movie, but if 无毛视频楳iracle on 34th Street无毛视频� is so adamant about it, then fine.无毛视频�
Other movies, however, made me spit out my eggnog all over my laptop, sip another mouthful of eggnog and spit that over the laptop a second time.
Now, I have to admit a pang of guilt hit me because I couldn无毛视频檛 help to feel that I was a part of the movement that opened the floodgates to bring those films in the fold and muddied the waters of holiday entertainment of classic movies of the season like 无毛视频淎 Christmas Story,无毛视频� 无毛视频淎 Christmas Carol无毛视频� and 无毛视频淭he Muppet Christmas Carol.无毛视频� The Muppets seems to legitimize anything, I无毛视频檝e found.
Then, I reminded myself that I无毛视频檓 a journalist and I felt it necessary to address the problem with an open mind.
I had to consider the movies mentioned, which included familiar ones to me like 无毛视频淏atman Returns,无毛视频� 无毛视频淟ethal Weapon,无毛视频� 无毛视频淓dward Scissorhands,无毛视频� 无毛视频淕remlins无毛视频� and 无毛视频淓yes Wide Shut.无毛视频�
As much as I would love to analyze those movies, I don无毛视频檛 have the time and if I find out those aren无毛视频檛 actually Christmas movies, then I无毛视频檝e wasted valuable Holiday Entertainment Hours that could have been spent on true classics like 无毛视频淒ie Hard,无毛视频� 无毛视频淒ie Hard 2无毛视频� and 无毛视频淭he Muppet Die Hard无毛视频�.
Of course, they also included movies like 无毛视频淛ust Friends,无毛视频� 无毛视频淟ove Actually无毛视频� and 无毛视频淲hile You Were Sleeping.无毛视频� All of those are, first and foremost, chick flicks, and I can无毛视频檛 force myself to watch any of them.
That无毛视频檚 why we无毛视频檒l have to go by my established criteria that allows anyone to see if those movies earn a Christmas label much like I did for 无毛视频淒ie Hard.无毛视频�
1. Themes of the story reflecting on Christmas. True, you may have to use what people call mental gymnastics to make your point stick, but when it comes to art, you can have a solid interpretation, which means almost any BS will work if you frame it just right.
2. Christmas songs. As I pointed out in my original argument for 无毛视频淒ie Hard,无毛视频� the movie had more Christmas songs in it than 无毛视频淚t无毛视频檚 A Wonderful Life.无毛视频� With that said, the magic number of songs is five, and that can include the same Christmas song played several times during the movie.
3. Christmas references/visuals. To be considered a Christmas movie, there should be over 20 references, which can be anything from decorations and people giving season无毛视频檚 greetings to one another to snowfall and eggnog-chugging contests.
4. Time proximity to Christmas: At least 40% of the movie无毛视频檚 runtime has to take place on Christmas Eve and/or Christmas Day or a significant event or the movie无毛视频檚 climax should happen on Christmas.
5. Fruitcake references: If there无毛视频檚 none, no big deal, but just one, then it无毛视频檚 an automatic Christmas movie. If 无毛视频淪tar Wars无毛视频� had or made mention of fruitcake 无毛视频� instant Christmas movie!
With criteria in place, a movie has to meet at least three of those criteria to be considered a Christmas movie.
Now that you know the rules, I want you to enjoy this Christmas weekend with family, friends or strangers passed out on a bus and watch your favorite Christmas movie.
If they argue that you无毛视频檙e not watching a Christmas movie, you tell them what you learned here in this column.
If they tell you that I无毛视频檓 a know-nothing hack, chances are they无毛视频檙e related to me.
If they insist you无毛视频檙e wrong, and you don无毛视频檛 want such an argument to ruin your holiday, then just opt to watch 无毛视频淭he Muppet Die Hard.无毛视频� At least that无毛视频檚 universally acceptable.
According to Hofmann is written by staff reporter Mark Hofmann of Rostraver Township. His books, 无毛视频淕ood Mourning! A Guide to Biting the Big One 无毛视频� and Dying, Too无毛视频� and 无毛视频淪tupid Brain,无毛视频� are available on Amazon.com.