According to Hofmann: The dad joke plateau
I have to give a shout-out to my brother, who was a big inspiration for this week无毛视频檚 column.
You see, he and I were talking, and I was saying I didn无毛视频檛 have an idea for my next column, everyone is going to find out I无毛视频檓 a fraud, I无毛视频檓 going to lose my job and family, and then I would have to move in with him and his wife and kids.
He cut me off, told me to stop sobbing and suggested I write about the cultural phenomenon of dad jokes and offered some insight on the subject.
Dad jokes, for those who are unfamiliar, are those quick, punny jokes that make the one telling the joke (99.9999829% of the time it无毛视频檚 a dad) laugh the hardest. The recipient of the joke normally groans, rolls their eyes or sometimes laughs, but they feel ashamed to laugh at even the most legitimately funny dad joke.
Some examples:
无毛视频淲hy shouldn无毛视频檛 you iron a four-leaf clover? Because you don无毛视频檛 want to press your luck!无毛视频�
无毛视频淗ow does a barber cut hair on the moon? Eclipse it!无毛视频�
无毛视频淲hat do Olympic sprinters eat before a race? Nothing无毛视频hey fast!无毛视频�
It无毛视频檚 not like I haven无毛视频檛 thought of writing about dad jokes before, but I marked it up as some kind of biological thing that happens to a man无毛视频檚 chemical makeup when he suddenly has fatherly responsibilities or maybe some kind of socio-psychological event that无毛视频檚 a hybrid of the nature-nurture debate gone very wrong.
I didn无毛视频檛 understand the simple idea and it was like my brother so aptly put it, 无毛视频淲ell, what other jokes do I know that I can tell my kids? A priest, a minister and a rabbi visit a brothel无毛视频ξ廾悠禎
I无毛视频檇 write the rest of that joke, but it may hurt my chances of running for public office someday.
It无毛视频檚 said, but true. People无毛视频檚 jokes evolve as they grow older, and the bridge from immaturity to maturity is burned down by your children with flamethrowers 无毛视频� or so it seems, but more on that later.
If you don无毛视频檛 believe me, think about the innocence of childhood and hearing a 无毛视频渄irty joke无毛视频� on the playground.
TIMMY: 无毛视频淜nock, knock!无毛视频�
JOHNNY: 无毛视频淲ho无毛视频檚 there?无毛视频�
TIMMY: 无毛视频淧oopy.无毛视频�
JOHNNY: 无毛视频淧oopy who?无毛视频�
TIMMY: 无毛视频淧oopy fart-butt.无毛视频�
They both then hysterically laugh for approximately three minutes.
JOHNNY: 无毛视频淥h, Timmy, you无毛视频檙e one of the best comedy writers on the playground!无毛视频�
TIMMY: 无毛视频淩eally? I thought my timing was a bit off.无毛视频�
JOHNNY: 无毛视频淣o, you should totally open with that at lunch tomorrow.无毛视频�
So, gentlemen, we无毛视频檝e gone from the playground, to jokes that would offend a motorcycle gang at a bachelor party and then to the never-offensive dad jokes.
Why? What happened?
The answer is simple. It无毛视频檚 not the kids who are responsible for dad jokes, but the wives.
Now, I want to stress that not all wives are responsible for this plague that has infected the world of comedy, but a majority of the wives are, and I think it无毛视频檚 a safe bet those wives don无毛视频檛 read my columns.
Single dads 无毛视频� not all single dads, I have to stress 无毛视频� will likely tell either playground jokes or bachelor party jokes to their kids without a second thought unless the second thought is, 无毛视频淵ep, I was right the first time to think that was a darn funny joke.无毛视频�
The problem is with the wives, the officers of inappropriateness that lurk behind every corner with ears tuned like dog无毛视频檚 and will scold their man for corrupting a child无毛视频檚 innocence.
You know that to be true if your kid无毛视频檚 unmarried uncle is visiting and does or says something funny, but offensive; it无毛视频檚 always the wife that swoops in to tell them what无毛视频檚 what.
However, the uncle doesn无毛视频檛 falter like the husband as his reply is normally, 无毛视频淲hat!? That was funny!,无毛视频� and the father just thinks, 无毛视频淵es, darn funny.无毛视频�
It无毛视频檚 just logical to wonder where it goes from the dad jokes, and that无毛视频檚 the good news to come out of this column.
You see, as we adult males grow older, we get a little more grizzled, a little more cranky, the filter between our minds and our mouths begin to malfunction and we become indifferent无毛视频損erhaps even hostile 无毛视频� to the thoughts, feelings and opinions of others.
In other words, the dad joke phase of a married man无毛视频檚 life is just a plateau; there无毛视频檚 no telling how wide the plateau is, but it will eventually slope down to bachelor party jokes and, if us men have enough grit, then we无毛视频檒l tell the bawdiest of jokes in front of kids and their parents while the little rugrats are being baptized by the Pope himself.
Who said there无毛视频檚 nothing to look forward to about getting old?
So, when a dad tells a dad joke, keep in mind it won无毛视频檛 last forever and keep in mind that they无毛视频檙e not dad jokes; they无毛视频檙e wife jokes because the wife may groan and roll her eyes, too, but she无毛视频檚 also thinking, 无毛视频淎t least it无毛视频檚 not that one about the Sunday school teacher with Tourette无毛视频檚 无毛视频� even though that was a darn funny joke.无毛视频�
According to Hofmann is written by staff reporter Mark Hofmann of Rostraver Township. His books, 无毛视频淕ood Mourning! A Guide to Biting the Big One 无毛视频� and Dying, Too无毛视频� and 无毛视频淪tupid Brain,无毛视频� are available on Amazon.com. He co-hosts the 无毛视频淟ocally Yours无毛视频� radio show on WMBS 590 AM every Friday.