According to Hofmann: Emails from the edge
Even though I无毛视频檝e been doing this 无毛视频渨riting thing无毛视频� for a while, I still get tickled to death无毛视频nd then tickled back to life when I receive fan mail.
It无毛视频檚 a great feeling when I open my inbox to see emails with subject lines that read 无毛视频淔unny column!无毛视频� or 无毛视频淚 hate prescription drug commercials, too!无毛视频� or 无毛视频淵ou touched me无毛视频n a good, non-physical way!无毛视频�
On the flip side, there are the not-as-kind emails with subject lines that read, 无毛视频淒id you think that was funny?无毛视频� or 无毛视频淵ou miserable son of a无毛视频ξ廾悠禎 or 无毛视频淵ou touched me无毛视频nd not in a good way!无毛视频�
Finally, there are the emails that are basically elaborate ads that try to trick me into believing that I无毛视频檝e been contacted by a real person rather than just a computer program that scans the internet for certain words and then places those certain words in blank spaces in what only can be described as a pre-written sales pitch.
Some subtle clues that you无毛视频檙e being contacted by a computer can be seen in the subject lines like, 无毛视频淗ello, Mark Hofmann, if you enjoy writing about adult bed wetting, then we have a resource for you!无毛视频� or 无毛视频淗ey mhofmann@heraldstandard.com! It无毛视频檚 been a white since we talked!无毛视频� or 无毛视频淗i, Mark, we hope to tell you@(!&#%5E#MAINFRAME BREACH无毛视频RROR MESSAGE 395无毛视频ELF DESTRUCT SEQUENCE INITIATED!无毛视频�
Now, I see such emails all the time in my day-to-day work as a reporter, but, for the first time, I received one for this humor column无毛视频nd it was one of the funniest emails I无毛视频檝e ever received.
First, before I share the contents of the email, I feel I must change one thing, which is the key word that caused the computer to send the email无毛视频搈ainly because it无毛视频檚 linked to a serious health issue that I won无毛视频檛 trivialize and because I don无毛视频檛 want the computer contacting me again as I无毛视频檓 in no mood to become a pen pal to an AI program again. I had had a bad experience IBM Watson.
So, let无毛视频檚 say the keyword is 无毛视频済oiter无毛视频� because it无毛视频檚 pretty non offensive, it无毛视频檚 funny to say and 无毛视频� surprise, surprise 无毛视频� I无毛视频檝e written about it before in a column titled 无毛视频淎ccording to Hofmann: Embarrassment is a family tradition无毛视频�.
Keep in mind, the word 无毛视频済oiter无毛视频� was only mentioned once in the column and had little or no relevance to the rest of the column.
无毛视频淗i Mark,
无毛视频淚 loved reading through your article 无毛视频楢ccording to Hofmann: Embarrassment is a family tradition.无毛视频� Your personal touch to the story was very touching, especially when explaining your perspective on the Embarrassment and everything going on around it. Thank you for the piece and great read.
无毛视频淚 want to offer myself and my team as a resource to you. We specialize in goiter, Embarrassment and relevant medical updates in this space. We can provide research, statistics, quotes and any relevant information or updates relating to goiters and its Embarrassment.无毛视频�
Then the letter ended with the normal closings on why I need to have them as my go-to goiter experts, which is a weapon any journalist would want to have in their arsenal.
I feel I have to take it upon myself to help other reporters avoid such an attack because one day you have a goiter contact, and the next day, you have an overactive-bladder contact and soon you无毛视频檙e known as the medical-oddity reporter and, therefore, banned from placing your lunch in the break-room refrigerator.
The best defense is a good offense that mirrors the offense that you无毛视频檙e defending, so you have to respond to them in the manner in which they contacted you.
无毛视频淗i dana@goiterpros.com,
无毛视频淚无毛视频檝e loved reading through your email 无毛视频楻e: According to Hofmann: Embarrassment is a family tradition.无毛视频� Your attempt to appear somewhat human was pleasing, especially when making one-word references to goiters that are out of context to the cited article.
无毛视频淚无毛视频檇 like to have you as a resource, but I won无毛视频檛 because I feel you无毛视频檙e not up to covering for me in my many alleged crimes against humanity. In fact, I doubt you would even give the authorities a convincing alibi. If prompted to do so, you无毛视频檇 probably present to them a pre-written statement where you无毛视频檇 fill in the blanks with my name, a location and a random activity from a Rolodex.
无毛视频淵ou无毛视频檇 probably say, 无毛视频榊es, PERSON OF AUTHORITY, I/we was/were in the company of MARK HOFMANN on 01/23/2020 7:47:05 PM EST. I/we was/were SKYDIVING with his COFFEE MAKER.'无毛视频�
无毛视频淣o thank you, goiter girl. No thank you.无毛视频�
And if that doesn无毛视频檛 work, just try something that always works for me.
无毛视频淗i dana@goiterpros.com, you touched me无毛视频nd not in a good way.无毛视频�
According to Hofmann is written by staff reporter Mark Hofmann of Rostraver Township. He co-hosts the 无毛视频淟ocally Yours无毛视频� radio show on WMBS 590 AM every Friday. His book, 无毛视频漇tupid Brain,无毛视频� is available on Amazon.com.