According to Hofmann: Totaled Recall
I was once told that communication is important in a marriage. Of course, I think it was my wife who said that 无毛视频� I无毛视频檓 not really sure; I was half paying attention.
Normally when she talks, I hear her muffled voice coming from miles away as I无毛视频檓 normally thinking about beer and what other possible advances could exist in streaming entertainment. I mean, we can watch feature-length movies and television on our phones. Where else can it go from there?
Anyway, back on track, my wife will be the first person to tell you that I无毛视频檓 not big on communication无毛视频he would also be the last person to tell you and would even give you some reminders in between those other times, too.
But with all of our communication arguments, the one that irritates me the most is when she asks me to tell her about conversations I无毛视频檝e had.
Maybe I无毛视频檓 crazy, but a normal exchange between a couple on a subject goes something like this无毛视频�
无毛视频淲hat were you talking about with George?无毛视频�
无毛视频淭hrowing rocks over a bridge.无毛视频�
无毛视频淥kay, Mark Hofmann, you handsome slab of man!无毛视频�
My wife, on the other hand, wants to know details like there无毛视频檚 a transcript that I无毛视频檝e been hiding from her.
The following is everything she would ask about a conversation I had无毛视频�
无毛视频淲hat were you and George talking about?无毛视频hat did George say?无毛视频hat did you say?无毛视频hat did George say after that?无毛视频hat was his tone when he said it?无毛视频ere there any hand gestures involved?无毛视频hat else did you two talk about?无毛视频othing?无毛视频or 20 minutes, you just talked about throwing rocks over a bridge?无毛视频hat无毛视频檚 wrong with you?无毛视频�
To be fair, my side of that conversation pretty much goes like this无毛视频�
无毛视频淚 don无毛视频檛 know无毛视频 can无毛视频檛 remember无毛视频 don无毛视频檛 know无毛视频 don无毛视频檛 recall无毛视频xcited, I think无毛视频揑 don无毛视频檛 know his tone无毛视频here may have been a middle finger, but I can无毛视频檛 remember the context无毛视频hat无毛视频檚 all we talked about无毛视频 don无毛视频檛 know.无毛视频�
Then she becomes angry at me when I can无毛视频檛 remember what both parties said verbatim 无毛视频� no matter how mundane the conversation was.
However, I should try a little harder to remember important facts to relay back to my wife like, for example, my last trip to the doctor when he told me how long I have to live, but I don无毛视频檛 want to be taken out of a conversation due to meticulous note taking on my part.
无毛视频淲ait! Slow down, George. Now, how big were the rocks, how many rocks did you throw and how would you describe your tone right now? I was going to say childishly solem, but I want to accurately relay this moment.无毛视频�
The other problem is that I无毛视频檓 a reporter who has to take notes for his job, so I can无毛视频檛 have a pleasant conversation with George about teasing wildlife with peanut-butter-smeared tennis balls without feeling like I无毛视频檓 on the clock.
That all being said, I无毛视频檓 always trying to become a better person, a more compassionate person and a more upstanding human being no matter how many people I have to kill to make that happen, so there has to be a solution.
Well, it turns out there is no good solution, so I would have to opt for the not-so-good solution and that无毛视频檚 for my wife to pay me to take notes on every conversation I have.
I figure that if I have to act like I无毛视频檓 doing my job, I might as well get paid to do so.
To be clear, it无毛视频檚 not like I无毛视频檓 going to make a fortune off this venture as my fee of $785 a month will go toward supplies like pens, notebooks, a voice recorder, batteries, a body camera and a sassy part-time secretary.
Of course, no matter how accurate my note-taking efforts may be, there无毛视频檚 always that off-chance that my wife may still not get the entire story.
无毛视频淢ark, what were you and my brother talking about? I overheard something about your bachelor party.无毛视频�
无毛视频淣o comment, no comment, off the record, deny, deny, no comment, off the record and speak to my attorney 无毛视频� just leave me alone so I can go back to thinking about beer and Netflix.无毛视频�
According to Hofmann is written by staff reporter Mark Hofmann of Rostraver Township. He hosts the 无毛视频淟ocally Yours无毛视频� radio show on WMBS 590 AM every Friday. His book, 无毛视频漇tupid Brain,无毛视频� is available on Amazon.com.