According to Hofmann: It’s snow good at all
At which point of our history and evolution did we humans decide that snow was a thing of beauty?
I无毛视频檓 far from being a historian unless you count my recollection of medical history of unsuccessful do-it-yourself British dental procedures, but I believe somewhere along the line of history from us chasing down mammoths (for meals or pets or both) and plopping a burrito in a microwave (for meals or pets or both), we decided that snow was something to cherish through paintings, songs and water-filled glass globes.
I bet the first person to say that snow was beautiful was probably executed for being a witch worshiping the white frozen death that was unleashed upon the land.
You无毛视频檝e never seen anyone on the show 无毛视频淕ame of Thrones无毛视频� hesitate before lopping off someone无毛视频檚 head to look out on the horizon at the coming winter and say, 无毛视频淗ave you ever seen a snowflake up close? It无毛视频檚 magnificent无毛视频ow die!无毛视频�
No, on that show, they hammer the point that winter is coming, and winter is going to mess you up something bad, as it should be.
On a side note, have you ever noticed on 无毛视频淕ame of Thrones无毛视频� they keep saying 无毛视频渨inter is coming无毛视频� over and over again, but they never really do anything about it? I just think that无毛视频檚 strange. Milk, bread and toilet paper, people. Seriously.
Anyway, back to the column无毛视频�
Even in modern, non-fictional times, when the snow begins to fall, you hear people say extreme things about snow.
One observation/comment about snow is, 无毛视频淥h, how I love watching the snow blanket the land, like Mother Nature is giving us a new clean start.无毛视频�
The other extreme would be a comment like, 无毛视频淢y car slid into a [EXPLICIT] guard rail, and then I got out of the car and stepped in a puddle of [EXPLICIT] slush. [EXPLICIT] snow! [EXPLICIT]! [EXPLICIT]!无毛视频�
Yes, it无毛视频檚 difficult to be on both sides of that coin as you turn off the weather forecast in the middle of February, slowly turn to your family and say, 无毛视频淭he snowfall has started. Slaughter the livestock, ration the toilet paper and prepare for death, but not before we make snow-angels in the backyard.无毛视频�
While I无毛视频檓 not sure exactly when this admiration of snow occurred in history, I want you to remember when I wrote earlier of the murderous reaction to the first person to comment on the beauty of snow. Well, I should have clarified that the person was an adult because appreciation of snow in the face of danger and/or extreme inconvenience clearly came from children.
That无毛视频檚 right. Extensive cave drawings have told the tale of a caveman carving up the saber-tooth pet for dinner while his little savage was sneaking out of the cave to slide down the hillside on a giant sloth hide.
That was the first documented uttering of the word 无毛视频淲eeeee!无毛视频� It was also the first documented case of mental illness of which the cure back then was the family eating the child the next day.
Learning that nugget of information is not surprising as children are infamous for trying to lick things they shouldn无毛视频檛 lick, sticking their fingers into things they shouldn无毛视频檛 stick and eating things they shouldn无毛视频檛 eat 无毛视频� and by 无毛视频渢hings,无毛视频� I mean electrical outlets.
So it was of little surprise that my stepdaughter, Emma, has on occasion said some horrific things that sound great to her like, 无毛视频淚 wish we get a thousand-billion inches of snow, and our house is covered up, and I don无毛视频檛 have to go to school forever, and we stay home forever!无毛视频�
无毛视频淓mma, that无毛视频檚 an insane wish! Shame on you! Have you ever seen 无毛视频楾he Shining无毛视频�? If you haven无毛视频檛, then I无毛视频檒l make you watch it, and I don无毛视频檛 even care that you无毛视频檙e only six years old, you need to learn about cabin fever无毛视频nd stop trying to lick that outlet!无毛视频�
Then she conceded that she would accept just a thousand of inches of snow, which I thought was very generous of her.
But you can无毛视频檛 really blame kids because first, we were all kids once except for me as I came out of my mother looking like this, and second, kids like Emma are enchanted by snow as it opens up different activities, it closes school, they don无毛视频檛 have to drive in it, they never even heard of winter maintenance, the smaller kids don无毛视频檛 have to shovel it, and it also fuels their imaginations like Emma and her wishes of snowmageddon.
Of course, I无毛视频檓 also not ruling out that Emma may be a witch.
According to Hofmann is written by staff reporter Mark Hofmann of Rostraver Township. He co-hosts the 无毛视频淟ocally Yours无毛视频� radio show on WMBS 590 AM every Friday. His book, 无毛视频漇tupid Brain,无毛视频� is available on Amazon.com.