According to Hofmann: Foreign kids on unicycles
They say the cause and effect of overeating and weight gain is considered to be something of a 无毛视频渧icious cycle.无毛视频�
Being what the doctors diagnosed as a 无毛视频渓ard butt,无毛视频� I happen to agree; however, I wouldn无毛视频檛 refer to it as being 无毛视频渧icious无毛视频� at all. It无毛视频檚 more like a frustrating cycle that无毛视频檚 difficult to control, so let无毛视频檚 say it无毛视频檚 a unicycle.
A lot of people use food as an outlet to cope with stress or boredom or the fact that one person can only eat so many rice cakes before they snap and take out a food truck on the highway.
That really isn无毛视频檛 my problem at all because the way I deal with stress is healthier as I find ways to pass it on to others so they can deal with it through eating, drinking, smoking, gambling, blanket crocheting or their preferred vice of choice.
However, the root cause of my overeating can be blamed on kids living in impoverished lands in foreign countries like China or Ethiopia or Canada.
You know those kids because your parents told you about them whenever you wouldn无毛视频檛 eat your vegetables.
无毛视频淢ark, honey, listen to mommy,无毛视频� my mommy would say. 无毛视频淵ou need to eat your beets because there are kids in Montreal who don无毛视频檛 have food like you do, and they would do anything to have those beets in their tummies instead of resorting to eating their hockey equipment.无毛视频�
So I ate the beets because I genuinely felt so bad for those kids (and still very much do) and when an adult pressures you to do the right thing, you don无毛视频檛 have time to think about the illogical idea that eating beets would make a starving kid in China feel better because people don无毛视频檛 share digestive systems unless it无毛视频檚 a 无毛视频淗uman Centipede无毛视频� scenario.
Other than feeling stuffed and sickened by the beets, I also felt good that I managed to do something positive in the world at a young age.
The bad part was nobody told me when to stop because it无毛视频檚 become a deeply psychological torturous unicycle to never leave anything on my plate, and if the plate itself is edible, then the sky无毛视频檚 the limit.
Of course, there无毛视频檚 been struggles and challenges like having eyes bigger than my stomach (and who thought that was possible) at all-you-can-eat buffets where I managed to shove the last morsel of meatloaf in my mouth and later, when the paramedics were taking me out on the stretcher, I held up my fist and said with pride, 无毛视频淚 did it for you, foreign kid!无毛视频�
On other occasions like cleaning out the fridge, I无毛视频檇 always come upon that moldy piece of cheese or the brown and wilted lettuce or the Hamburger Helper where the moisture had left the pasta and made the food an island surrounded by salty water.
My first notion was always to toss that stuff in the trash, but then a voice in my head asks me if a foreign kid would throw that stuff away无毛视频r would they eat it?
Again, I did it for you, foreign kid.
This psychological issue even grew worse after I got married and my wife and stepdaughter would only eat half their food.
无毛视频淥h man!无毛视频� I remember saying the first time that happened. 无毛视频淲e无毛视频檙e going to have some good leftovers for tomorrow.无毛视频�
It was then they informed me that they didn无毛视频檛 save leftovers because they didn无毛视频檛 like eating leftovers.
无毛视频淏ut that无毛视频檚 like four meals for the foreign kid!无毛视频� I screamed as I made an action-hero无毛视频檚 leap in the air to wrestle the food out of my wife无毛视频檚 hands before it met the trash can.
They didn无毛视频檛 understand and asked what I was talking about, but I was too busy shoveling spaghetti and garlic knots in my mouth to answer them.
So the unicycle continued to rock back and forth at home or at a restaurant where I ate my meal and watched the other two that hate foreign kids not finish their meals and then I sighed and finished their plates.
The waitresses would always come over and say, 无毛视频淲ow, you were certainly hungry,无毛视频� which I would then reply through stuffed cheeks, 无毛视频淣o, I无毛视频檓 the closer.无毛视频�
With that said, I无毛视频檓 starting my 3,012nd diet starting tomorrow or when all the ice cream is out of the house.
The plan for this one is simple like the 2,987 other 无毛视频渟imple无毛视频� diets, but this time I plan to not fix myself a meal at dinnertime and not order food for myself whenever we go out to eat.
Rather, I无毛视频檓 going to sustain myself on unwanted leftovers, thus vastly reducing the amount of food I eat at any given meal while leaving no piece of food wasted.
Except beets. Even foreign kids refuse those.
But seriously, we should all donate to worldwide causes to end hunger if we can like Action Against Hunger, Feed My Starving Children and The Hunger Project as well as to local food shelters. Make your mommy proud.
According to Hofmann is written by staff reporter Mark Hofmann of Rostraver Township. His books, 无毛视频淕ood Mourning! A Guide to Biting the Big One无毛视频nd Dying, Too无毛视频� and 无毛视频淪tupid Brain,无毛视频� are available on Amazon.com. He co-hosts the 无毛视频淟ocally Yours无毛视频� radio show on WMBS 590 AM every Friday.