According to Hofmann: Prank you very much…the pandemic edition
Well, I have to start out this week无毛视频檚 column with an apology because the subject of the column, April Fool无毛视频檚 Day, has already passed.
I mean, you can无毛视频檛 blame me for forgetting to write it before the April Fool无毛视频檚 Day, as I无毛视频檝e been busy stockpiling ham, surgical masks, gin and weapons to prepare for Easter. Nothing can go wrong with that combination.
Instead of waiting a whole year to post a column on April Fool无毛视频檚 etiquette, I can do it now after the holiday so you can remember what the holiday was like instead of trying to capture its magic of pranks and light torture amidst the backdrop of a global pandemic.
It无毛视频檚 like drinking root beer when you无毛视频檙e thinking you无毛视频檙e about to drink chocolate milk; sure, it sounds good on paper, but when practiced, you无毛视频檙e choking and your brain is scrambled for several hours.
On the day in question, I pulled a prank my 10-year-old stepdaughter, Emma on her first day of tele-school or tele-tubbies or tele-kinesis无毛视频揑 don无毛视频檛 know the proper word for it.
Anyway, after she woke up at 11 a.m. and appeared by my side as I was covering a virtual press conference or virtual tour or virtual reality无毛视频揑 don无毛视频檛 know the proper terms anymore无毛视频揑 asked her if she was ready for her first day of 无毛视频渟chool.无毛视频� When she said she wasn无毛视频檛, I told her that was good because it无毛视频檚 only for one day and then she goes back to normal school tomorrow on the bus.
无毛视频淣ooooooo!无毛视频� she whined before I dropped the April Fool无毛视频檚 bomb on her.
I thought it was mildly appropriate April Fool无毛视频檚 joke: it was relevant to current events, but not terrifying, so it wasn无毛视频檛 bittersweet, but it was bitter-humorous.
On the other hand, what无毛视频檚 sour-serious would be exploiting the coronavirus in the name of a terrifying April Fool无毛视频檚 joke. I mean, by all accounts, I have a sick sense of humor, but I do know where the line is and I stay the CDC-required six feet away from it.
For example, visiting your grandparents and coughing all over them, and then saying, 无毛视频淎pril Fool无毛视频檚! I don无毛视频檛 have COVID-19无毛视频t least I don无毛视频檛 think I do. Anyway do you have any cookies?无毛视频�
While that is awful, the biggest April Fool无毛视频檚 no-no is trying to convince someone that your April 1 joke is real when they obviously know it无毛视频檚 not.
My wife and I have had fights over this and even though it无毛视频檚 a silly matter, the divorce court judge didn无毛视频檛 see the humor in it.
Let无毛视频檚 look at a reasonable exchange:
无毛视频淗ey, man! Your shoes are on fire!无毛视频�
无毛视频淵eah right! I know it无毛视频檚 April Fool无毛视频檚.无毛视频�
无毛视频淥h well, at least I tried.无毛视频�
Now here无毛视频檚 an exchange in the real and insane world无毛视频�
无毛视频淗ey, man! Your shoes are on fire!无毛视频�
无毛视频淵eah right! I know it无毛视频檚 April Fool无毛视频檚.无毛视频�
无毛视频淣o! I无毛视频檓 not kidding! Your shoes are actually on fire!无毛视频�
无毛视频淲ell, no, because I don无毛视频檛 feel any heat or smell any smoke, I无毛视频檓 looking at my shoes right now, there无毛视频檚 no fire and it无毛视频檚 April Fool无毛视频檚.无毛视频�
无毛视频淣o, I swear it无毛视频檚 not! You are a total jerk for not believing what I无毛视频檓 saying!无毛视频�
无毛视频淯gh无毛视频n no无毛视频y shoes are like totally on fire.无毛视频�
无毛视频淗ahahaha! April Fools! I got you good, you stupid idiot!!!无毛视频�
So, along with avoiding joking about a dire medical diagnosis and/or the apocalypse, a prankster should know to end the joke after the bluff has been called.
Sure, it无毛视频檚 easy to fool someone when they无毛视频檙e unaware it无毛视频檚 April 1, but when they do have their guard up无毛视频搊r if the prank is really good无毛视频搕hen it takes some convincing.
Now, if the person you无毛视频檙e trying to prank tells you they don无毛视频檛 believe you, by all means, keep on keeping on with it. However, you must stop when they reference April Fool无毛视频檚 Day.
Some examples include saying, 无毛视频淚 know what day it is无毛视频� or 无毛视频淚t无毛视频檚 April Fool无毛视频檚 Day无毛视频� or even if you had the bad luck of being named April, you have to stop when they say, 无毛视频淚 know you无毛视频檙e trying to fool me, April无毛视频�.
It无毛视频檚 like screaming 无毛视频淯ncle无毛视频� to get someone to stop torturing you, which is a disturbing concept unto itself.
With that, stay safe, stay strong, cover those mouths, wash those hands, stay six feet away from pretty much everything and join me next week where my Easter column will be right on schedule. I无毛视频檓 stockpiling jokes for it right now.
According to Hofmann is written by staff reporter Mark Hofmann of Rostraver Township. He co-hosts the 无毛视频淟ocally Yours无毛视频� radio show on WMBS 590 AM every Friday. His book, 无毛视频淪tupid Brain,无毛视频� is available on Amazon.com.