According to Hofmann: Aaaah…that new car smells
My wife needed a new car as her car was giving us subtle hints that its lease was reaching a premature end like the odometer readout sweating, actually growing teeth and whispering it无毛视频檚 hungry for money every 100 miles.
The lease situation was perfect as she only had to drive about three miles to work every day, but then she had to go and get a new job to 无毛视频渂etter herself,无毛视频� 无毛视频済et out of this rut无毛视频� and 无毛视频淚 swear to God, Mark, if I don无毛视频檛 get out of that office, I无毛视频檓 going into an early grave, and I无毛视频檓 taking you with me!无毛视频� 无毛视频搚ou know, the normal reactions.
The new job, however, has her driving roughly 40 miles to 283 miles per day round trip, which is an estimate because I rarely look at her odometer because I无毛视频檓 a gentleman and know to buy a lady a drink before it goes that far.
Anyway, we had to head to a dealership, which makes my skin crawl. I无毛视频檇 rather go to the dentist who does colonoscopies on the side with the same equipment than deal with a car salesman.
Don无毛视频檛 get me wrong, I无毛视频檓 sure they无毛视频檙e good people, but as they approach, my defense goes up, and they know it无毛视频檚 up, and I know that they know it无毛视频檚 up, but after that point, I无毛视频檓 not too sure if they know that I know that they know it无毛视频檚 up or what is considered up at that point because I无毛视频檝e spun myself into mass confusion and conspiracy before any words are even exchanged.
My wife, on the other, decided to spill her guts.
无毛视频淥h, it无毛视频檚 a miracle we even made it here in my deathtrap of a car!无毛视频� were her code words through her ramblings. 无毛视频淗ere无毛视频檚 my Social Security number, my bank account number and passwords and feel free to repeatedly punch my husband in the face.无毛视频�
On my list of car-buying grievances, a major one is the forced rapport from the salesperson when they try to bond with you.
They normally agree with everything you say, and a part of me always wants to see how far I can take the conversation.
无毛视频淣ow that I think about it, Mr. Hofmann, I guess I would renounce my citizenship in favor of a totalitarian system of government controlled by aardvarks. Here无毛视频檚 how you activate the cruise control.无毛视频�
It also never fails that when you make it abundantly clear that you无毛视频檙e just looking with no intention whatsoever of buying or agreeing to anything today, you无毛视频檙e just setting the bar higher for them to sell you the car.
That无毛视频檚 because, to them, it无毛视频檚 abundantly clear that after you无毛视频檙e satisfied with the test drive, the car is going home with you like you fell into some kind of semi-mutual agreement loophole.
无毛视频淲ell, Mr. and Mrs. Hofmann, that was a great test drive,无毛视频� they say. 无毛视频淟et无毛视频檚 go in and get the paperwork started.无毛视频�
无毛视频淣ah, like I said, we无毛视频檙e just looking right now.无毛视频�
无毛视频淥f course, so, we无毛视频檒l crunch some numbers and get you a good deal.无毛视频�
无毛视频淲e just wanted to see some cars, look at prices and stuff 无毛视频� that无毛视频檚 it.无毛视频�
无毛视频淲ait! What无毛视频檚 that? The car keys just magically appeared in your pocket!无毛视频�
无毛视频淣o! We无毛视频檙e just looking!无毛视频�
无毛视频淲ell, seven years has already flashed by, and you无毛视频檙e bringing this car in for a trade! Let无毛视频檚 go for a test ride.无毛视频�
无毛视频淏ut I just bought this one!无毛视频�
无毛视频淲onderful! Let无毛视频檚 start the paperwork.无毛视频�
Yeah, I无毛视频檓 too much of a pushover, especially when I hear about people who love to haggle and know how to work the system.
I knew a guy who was the master of that. He would go as far as walking in, demand everything he could think of on the car and for a lower price. Once the salesman said importing a car from the future was impossible, the guy would turn around and walk off the lot.
Then the salesperson would call the next day and say they can do it for a certain price, and then the guy would demand something else for a lower cost and then hang up when the salesperson said it couldn无毛视频檛 be done.
That went on until the guy was able to drive off the lot in a 2052 gold-plated Porsche 928 (they will bring them back in 2048 after they无毛视频檙e discontinued again in 2035) complete with hover package and the salesman无毛视频檚 girlfriend for a measly $700.
And that burns me up because I无毛视频檓 still paying $900 a month for the 2032 Honda Brick economy model that the car salesman said I had already purchased as a result of me asking about the location of the restroom.
According to Hofmann is written by staff reporter Mark Hofmann of Rostraver Township. He hosts the 无毛视频淟ocally Yours无毛视频� radio show on WMBS 590 AM every Friday. His book, 无毛视频漇tupid Brain,无毛视频� is available on Amazon.com.