According to Hofmann: Kid versus adults: the holiday edition
Christmas is a strange time when you无毛视频檙e an adult 无毛视频� the full moon rises, and you become hairy, angry, grow fangs and you want to chase your food through the forest.
For those adults who are not werewolves, it无毛视频檚 strange to see you kids enjoying the holiday as you start seeing weird parallels between childhood and adulthood and Robin Hood and Boyz n the Hood.
For example, when you无毛视频檙e a kid and you无毛视频檙e going to a family member无毛视频檚 home on Christmas, you are asked questions like, 无毛视频淲hat did you get for Christmas?无毛视频� or 无毛视频淲hat did Santa bring you?无毛视频� or if you无毛视频檙e Jewish, 无毛视频淗appy Hanukkah! What presents did you get these last eight days?无毛视频�
As an adult in the same situation, you无毛视频檝e mostly asked, 无毛视频淒o you have to go into work tomorrow or are you off?无毛视频�
Yes, for some reason, information of your post-holiday work schedule is of great interest to other adults followed by the number of places you无毛视频檝e been to that day.
无毛视频淲here无毛视频檝e you been to so far?,无毛视频� 无毛视频淲here you heading after this?,无毛视频� 无毛视频淗ow many more places do you have to go?,无毛视频� or 无毛视频淲hy are you growing fangs and licking your hairy lips at me?无毛视频�
Adults may get the occasional tongue-and-cheek question like 无毛视频渨as Santa good to you?无毛视频� and I can无毛视频檛 tell you how many times I wanted to give the full-fledged flamboyant holly-jolly-merry-and-bright answer of, 无毛视频淥h me oh my yes, friend of friends! Santa was so great to me because he loves me so much, and I无毛视频檝e been so good this year that he granted to me my only Christmas wish of receiving a brand-new flush valve seal for my toilet!无毛视频�
I also find it interesting to compare the stamina between the young and the old, and I know that you无毛视频檙e saying, 无毛视频淢ark, you grinchy, yet boisterously-spirited, goon! You can无毛视频檛 compare children无毛视频檚 stamina to adults. It无毛视频檚 like comparing a rocket ship to an older rocket ship that无毛视频檚 out of fuel and resting in a dumpster.无毛视频�
True, but you have to marvel at the stamina of the next generation since kids are the ones who have the sleepless Christmas Eve nights, but are also the ones who madly rush to the Christmas tree to rip open presents like coked-up zombies going after wrapped brains, kids are the ones that scream and carry on with their fellow child relatives to run around, scream and play with dangerous toys like chainsaws and dynamite, scream and shovel food fuel in their mouth and scream at every house they visit无毛视频nd they scream.
Adults, on the other hand, are startled out of bed by the sounds of screaming, they sit on the couch and watch the kids scream and open presents, the adults sit or stand to watch their kids rush around at other people无毛视频檚 homes and occasionally yell at them to stop moving or stop screaming because, you know, they scream.
At the end of the day, the kids are hopped up and ready to enter a triathlon of playtime with their toys, games and dynamite while the adults are crashing to sleep by just seeing a commercial for a twin bed set.
When the children (eventually) come down from their holiday high, they take stock on what they无毛视频檝e received 无毛视频� noting if they can checkmark everything on their list so they can categorize the ratio between toys and clothing as well as the ratio in the contents in their stockings between sweets and responsible things like a toothbrush, floss and dynamite. Kids also inventory and compare their presents from last year无毛视频檚 total. That, by the way, is the most number crunching many kids will voluntarily do in the course of their childhood.
If satisfied, the children stand over their bounty, nod their heads and mutter, 无毛视频淚t was a good year.无毛视频�
Parents also take note of what无毛视频檚 been received.
For women, it无毛视频檚 if the kids received enough to qualify for a truly Merry Christmas and for men, it无毛视频檚 trying to determine if they received enough underwear and socks for the next 365 days.
But, whether it无毛视频檚 toys, socks, underwear, merriment, work schedule, travel schedule or dynamite, in the end, as long as someone can mutter, 无毛视频淚t was a good year无毛视频� and crash on the couch to catch a few Z无毛视频檚 before the full moon appears, then so be it.
According to Hofmann is written by staff reporter Mark Hofmann of Rostraver Township. He hosts the 无毛视频淟ocally Yours无毛视频� radio show on WMBS 590 AM every Friday. His book, 无毛视频漇tupid Brain,无毛视频� is available on Amazon.com.